


Elastic Collision

by khaleesi_lauren



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: A fic in which Tyrell has a big queer crush on Elliot and Elliot does not reciprocate, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, THIS IS ABOUT TO BE GAY AS SHIT, Tyrell "Dick Me Down" Wellick is here for Elliot's not-so-sweet lovin', Tyrell is also pan/bi, more than likely Elliot is aro/ace or demisexual so you know how that works, probs porn later idk how fare this is going to go lmfao, the other character headcannons will come later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:49:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaleesi_lauren/pseuds/khaleesi_lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If Tyrell was ever sure about anything it was at this exact moment. He had to have him." </p>
<p>Young Tyrell Wellick has just moved away from home for the first time to attend a University in New York. He doesn't intend to make friends or interact with anyone, because frankly, he thinks he's above them and their tedious behavior, but that doesn't stop him from meeting Elliot Alderson. He's immediately taken aback by him and wants to be involved with him. Sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He wants to breathe in and take in everything Elliot does. The question is, will Elliot let him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let The Awkward Man Speak

**Author's Note:**

> This all based on my current feelings about my new favorite character (Tyrell Wellick) and my new favorite ship (Tyrelliot). Also, based on a text post I made on Tumblr about Tyrell wanting to be "dicked down" but Elliot not having the same feelings at the time. But yes, proceed please.

Tyrell Wellick knew from the very first moment he saw Elliot that he would be boring. He did a quick glance around the room, freshman orientation, before deciding where to sit. He knew everyone would be boring with their overly-friendly first day personalities, long small talk conversations until you found a mutual interest, and comments of 'I'm so happy to be away from _______' that made him want to kill himself. So he wasn't singling Elliot out by saying he was boring, no, everyone was dull and he was no exception in this case. In fact, Tyrell hadn't even noticed Elliot until he sat down in the crowded auditorium about 10 feet away from him. A small observation of the back of his head said that he would be just as dry as anyone else in his freshman class. Therefore, he only paid attention to his black hoodie and nervous tics before returning his focus to everything else in the area. _Another tedious and unnecessary day_ , he thought, sighing.

The next time he saw Elliot was in their Communications 101 class, a requirement that Tyrell felt would be an easy A and required minimal effort from him. Besides, all you had to do was write a few essays and get a grade. Easy. Tyrell walked into the classroom with a slight pep in his step so he wouldn't be late and could still get a good seat, but, to no avail, all the seats were taken except one. An empty seat next to a guy in a black hoodie. A small groan of annoyance escaped his lips as he sat down in the back of the classroom next to _hoodie boy_. He checked his watch, seeing that there were still ten minutes to spare before the instructor came. _Still crowded_ , he thought with a scoff.

Tyrell looked over to his odd neighbor, deciding maybe it was worth it to interact with someone while he waited. However, Elliot's attention wasn't towards him, or towards anyone in the class, but to something outside that caught his eye. Anything to get his mind away from the anxiety he was feeling right now. Elliot's back was turned to Tyrell, not showing his face, so he took it upon himself to make himself noticeable. Tyrell cleared his throat to get Elliot's attention but that effect didn't seem to work. He cleared his throat again, still not attracting Elliot. He looked around the classroom to see if he had attracted any unwanted attention, thank god he didn't, because he couldn't survive the embarrassment. Everyone was too preoccupied with their own conversations to care. This time, he decided a more effective and straight-forward approach would work best, tapping would do. Tyrell put on his best award-winning (yet fake) smile and tapped Elliot on the shoulder. 

The young hooded boy twitched at the light pressure of the touch, sharply turning his head towards the perpetrator. _What the hell does this guy want?_ , Elliot thought to himself, wearing his emotions all over his face. Maybe he should wear a sign on the back of his hoodie that says 'don't touch me' to ensure that no one would go against his very important rule. This was the second time this had happened --the first time was his dorm neighbor, Shayla, introducing herself-- and he didn't want it to be a repeating pattern. 

Tyrell's smile immediately dropped, not to an expression of scorn like Elliot, but to one of surprise and awe. He was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Though his initial impression of Elliot was boring and dry, his face said otherwise. It was like his face had been personally sculpted by God and delivered from the Heavens via baby angels so Tyrell could look at him. He wanted to stare at him all day, and he was pretty certain that he would never get bored. Tyrell quickly came out of his trance-like state to introduce himself, though it proved difficult to do after seeing such raw beauty unexpectedly. "H-Hi, I'm Tyrell Wellick." he said stammering over his words painfully.  _Idiot._

Elliot stared at him with confusion. What the hell was he saying? _Oh shit, right, headphones_ , he thought, slowly turning off his loud music and removing one earphone so he could hear the awkward man speak. "What?" he asked, promoting the man to repeat. 

He tried hard not to get flustered from embarrassment. _He didn't hear you, dumbass._ Tyrell took this opportunity to revamp his approach and not make a fool of himself. He flashed his smile again, this time genuine, extending his right hand out for him to shake. "Tyrell Wellick."

Elliot cautiously looked down at his hand. "Elliot." he said, shifting his eyes back-and-forth between Tyrell and his hand.  He hoped 'Tyrell' could take a hint. 

Thankfully, he could and awkwardly retracted the sign of a formal greeting. "So what brings you to this University?" There was no way he would let Elliot get away that easy without hearing more of his voice and seeing more of his face that was normally hidden by his large hood. 

"Learning," he said bluntly, deciding he might want to elaborate, "about computers." 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise; maybe small talk wasn't the worst. "Really?," he said trying not to sound too eager,"I'm double majoring in computer science and business as well." 

Elliot nodded, uninterested. _Why is he still even talking to me?  "_ Nice, man." 

"That means we'll probably see more of each other in the future." Tyrell said, giving Elliot a small look up and down. "I look forward to it." 

"Right." Elliot responded, looking over to the front door to see his instructor walk in with papers and a briefcase.  _Thank God._ "Well, the teacher's here so we better pay attention." He tried to sound disappointed that their conversation had to end prematurely but it just sounded like a big sigh of relief on his part. 

Tyrell seemed unaffected by the abrupt end to the conversation, instead, smiling at Elliot as he changed his focus. His body even physically relaxed from the tension he was holding in.  _I could relax that tension,_ Tyrell thought with a chuckle to himself as he waited for the syllabus to be passed out. He couldn't help but think about his new hooded friend. The way he presented himself spoke 'leave me alone!' and his quiet demeanor didn't exactly say 'come speak to me' either, Tyrell could obviously see that --anyone could see that. So he should leave him alone. There was absolutely no reason to talk to him or even look at him outside of class. He was just another boring freshman, like himself, that was away from home for the first time, ready to experience new freedoms. Except he really wasn't, he was the most person in the room now. And Tyrell was ready to have a new experience. 

If Tyrell was ever sure about anything it was at this exact moment. He had to have him. There was no reason why he couldn't, so he would. Somehow this school year, Tyrell Wellick would get into Elliot Alderson's pants and there was no one to stop him.  _Perfect._


	2. The Hungry Lion & The Uninterested Gaazel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyrell develops a plan, with the help of a friend, on how to get Elliot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing some new characters this chapter! We see Joanna, Shayla, and a brief interaction with Darlene. Also, dedicated to my fam because she's shipper trash too.

It been a week since Tyrell had first met Elliot and he was utterly infatuated with him. He had thought about his plan on wooing Elliot (enough to make him at least _like_ him) and so far he had absolutely no idea what he was going to do. During the rest of the week, he hadn't talked to Elliot at all since their single conversation in Communications and he was anxious to talk to him again. But, he didn't want to speak again until he had a plan in motion. He was just itching to speak to him, hear him talk, see his beauty. He strives for perfection so his plan had to be foolproof. For now, all he had were his studies and girlfriend. 

"Joanna, how do you feel about Elliot?" Tyrell said, taking a pause from his studying. 

His girlfriend, Joanna, didn't seem the slight bit interested in what he had to say. The fashion magazine had more appeal to her than hearing Tyrell moan about some irrelevant classmate. If she wanted to hear people talk she would've stayed in her room and listened to her roommates' worries or watched television. Unfortunately, Tyrell didn't have a TV yet so she was forced to suffer and participate in unwanted conversation. "Elliot who?"

"Elliot...I don't know his last name. He's in our Psychology class. He wears a lot of black and a hood over his head all the time." he tried his best to describe him, but he couldn't seem to. Everyone around campus had to have known him. His face was unforgettable. 

Of course she knew who he was. Her roommate, Shayla, had mentioned that he was their 'dorm neighbor' but she wanted to act dumb for Tyrell so he would do most of the talking. She was not in the mood for conversation. "Oh....yes, Elliot." she replied un-enthusiastically, continuing to look at her magazine. "What about him?"

"How do you feel about him?" he said, repeating his previous question. He wanted an honest outside opinion of his subject, and he knew Joanna would deliver. 

She sighed, putting down her magazine and looked at him directly. "Is he another one of your _'projects'_?" 

He stared at her, confused. "What _'projects'_?" he said using air quotes sarcastically. 

"Tyrell...." she got up from her place at his desk, to take a seat next to him on his bed. "...we both know what I mean by projects. If you want to play dumb, then I'll explain. When I say projects condescendingly, I mean people that you become so obsessed that you're determined to take control over them. Whether its sex or to get ahead in life, you need to gain power some way, I don't know why but you do it often. However, I'm the only one you can't do that because you're so dependent on me for companionship and structure that it's sickening. As your girlfriend, and I use the term _very_ loosely, I'd think you'd do something better with your time. That's the whole reason I told you I want an open relationship. I date whoever and do whatever I want when I have to get away from you and you do this...."

Tyrell was surprised, "Jo-"

She patted him on the back for moral support, and moved from her place on his bed, back to her position on the chair. "I know you, Tyrell Wellick. I've known you for years and I know all of your defenses and weaknesses. Don't think for a second that you can fool me. You're an open book and I'm the only one reading it."

The initial shock from her previous statements had disappeared. He said he wanted honesty and in exchange he got what he wanted. This was just Joanna's way of telling him to get a grip. It wasn't necessarily mean-spirited but it did put salt in his old wounds. "You're going to make a good lawyer one day."

"I didn't get into this University to study law for nothing." she said picking up her magazine again and lazily flipping through it to return to her page. "By the way, I'll help you plan whatever it is you want to do with Elliot as long as you're out of my hair. You're the worst at creating plans by yourself."

"Thank you," he sighed gratefully, "and you never told me what your opinion of him was."

She paused and briefly looked at him with a smile, "He's just your type."

-

Tyrell looked into the mirror, adjusting his shirt and lint rolling it perfectly.  _There's no reason to be nervous, he's just one person,_ he thought to himself. Just one person he was extremely infatuated with. Sure, he had small crushes on people but they never elevated to the point where they are now. He couldn't displace the idea of him and Elliot together intimately out of his head without having to think about something else. Their one moment together was his singular motivation to break Elliot's cold shell --if there was anything underneath.  _Is this what human love feels like?_

Tyrell glanced over himself one last time before deciding that this was the right way to go. He wanted to look his best and show all of his glorious features to Elliot. He hadn't even spent this much time on an outfit for one of his dates with Joanna, a girl he had been dating for five years, and this was only to class. Just as he was gathering his things for class, someone knocked on the door. Tyrell looked at his watch. Who could be knocking at eight AM? Making sure he had everything, he opened the door to find that a girl was there. 

"Uh, if you're looking for-" he started but she cut in.

"Are you Tyrell Wellick?" she asked impatiently, like she had more important places to be than here. 

"Yes. Who are you?"

She rolled her eyes which were shielded by bright sunglasses. "It doesn't matter. Thank you for wasting my time, though," she said with annoyance, abruptly leaving his room with a look of disgust on her face. 

Thoroughly confused and ready to go to class, Tyrell grabbed his backpack and left his room. It wasn't a long walk to Joanna's room, but it was confusing. He had to ask three people if he was going to make sure he had the right door number. Having to ask for directions agitated him because that meant he needed help but that emotion dissolved into nothing other than a slight inconvenience by the time he got there. He knocked on the door, waiting outside in the hallway. In the period of time he waited for her to come out the room, someone across the hall opened their door. Tyrell, briefing looking up in pure curiosity to see who it was, was surprised to see a girl walking out the room with Elliot. Their voices weren't above a whisper with both of them looking around the quarters in paranoia to see if people were a large distance away so their conversation couldn't be heard. Once they were finished their secrecy, Elliot handed her money almost retreating into his room until she spoke to Tyrell.

She turned around, pocketing the money, and glancing up just in time for her to see him. "Hey, you're Joanna's boyfriend, aren't you?" her speech was slightly slurred as she approached him. 

"Oh, she's called me today, huh?" Tyrell said, finishing a text message to the woman in question to tell her he's there. He hadn't been in her room yet and he didn't plan on it. Joanna was very particular about her privacy, not wanting him to know certain things until she wanted him to know. While Tyrell barred his soul to her, she was quiet and calculated about the information she gave out. He was surprised to learn that she gave out their relationship status and it wasn't on Facebook.  _She must be showing me some sort of kindness today,_ he thought. 

"I'm Shayla. Your outfit is really cute, by the way. Very smooth looking," she said politely nodding to herself in agreement. 

"I'm only wearing it for a certain someone." he looked towards the door, noticing that Elliot was there. It was the perfect time to have a conversation outside of class, not that they actually had more than one. "I didn't know you lived across the hallway, Elliot." he smiled at him, taking in everything he saw because this would be a rare occasion. Elliot had just woken up in time for class but didn't have a hoodie on. Everything was exposed to Tyrell and to the world.

Elliot crossed his arms over his chest, propping himself up against the door. "It isn't very public information." Then he turned his attention back to the girl. "Shayla, can we...."

"Oh, yeah, of course sorry." Shayla said returning to her secretive position half way in his door way, half way out.

A few moments later, Joanna appeared out of the room, making sure the door was locked behind her. She briefly looked at Elliot with a small smile, then interlocked her arm with Tyrell's. "Let's go to the cafeteria and see if they have anything good. Either that or Panera Bread, I'm starving." 

 "It was nice to meet you!" Shayla shouted and waved as the couple walked down the hallway. When they were gone, Elliot sighed deeply. Every time Tyrell was around, it felt like a large annoying burden was on his shoulders was there; and when he left, the feeling immediately disappeared.  "You know, Elliot, if you're stressed out, you should try acupuncture. My cousin tries it and she said that's it's the best thing that's every happened to her. Maybe it can work wonders on someone like you." 

"Nah, I think I'm just find with weed." he said, referring to the large bag in his pocket. There was no stress reliever better than marijuana, actually maybe morphine, but he hadn't done that ever since he cut himself off and went cold turkey in the Summer. Besides, no one had access to that drug here, he had asked around before applying. 

"Try it sometime, you might like it." She smiled, "do you want me to smoke that with you?"

"I've got class in an hour, so I don't think that would be the best decision." he suddenly remembered that his next class was with Tyrell Wellick. "Actually, let's do it. My sister's coming soon so we should hurry before she smokes it all."  _God knows what'll happen an hour from now,_ Elliot thought, closing the door behind them. Besides, he had been seeing the _men_ again and he needed an aid to forget about all his worries. Though he didn't want to admit it, Tyrell's odd appeal to him were the least of his problems.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. BOO! It also feels short but they'll be more later.


	3. Swords of Damocles

When Elliot Alderson came to University he expected to only focus on his degree, smoke some weed, and not relapse into his morphine addiction again. He had it all planned out for how the semester would work. The only interruption to his plan was the appearance of Tyrell Wellick and his unfortunate attraction to him. On the surface, Wellick was like any other new college student, motivated and eager to make friends, but that wasn't what he was about. Elliot didn't plan on doing much of anything besides those three core things. Of course he over-analyzed every possible outcome that would occur when going outside of the plan but he never could've predicted this. 

"Elliot." Tyrell said, greeting him when he sat down in his regular seat. The smug grin only brought uneasiness to Elliot, a rushing wave of tension came over him. He took note that Joanna was nowhere to be found near Tyrell. 

Elliot ignored him, taking out his books so he could take notes. He didn't want to acknowledge Tyrell because he thrived on attention but he couldn't simply be ignored. His presence was too strong. It felt like the Sword of Damocles was hanging over his head and Tyrell was the impending danger. Thankfully, the instructor was awful and only used PowerPoints to teach so at least Elliot wouldn't have to hear him. 

Tyrell chuckled as Elliot put both earphones and turned on the loudest song possible.  _God he's so beautiful_ , he thought, staring at the hooded boy while he tried his hardest to ignore everything around him but the instructor's slideshow. So many thoughts were running through his head about earlier that morning. He knew where Elliot resided. He knew where Elliot lived. He knew where Elliot lays at night. Just thinking about laying in his bed, pulling on his sheets, touching Elliot....got him going. He just wanted to touch him at least once, one more time. 

Just when his thoughts were going to places other than psychology (though Freud would disagree), he received a notification on his phone. 

**Jo-Jo: did u get anywhere w him or r u just creaming ur pants thinkin about him**

He would've replied with something equally sarcastic and witty, but she was right. He had to at least talk to him but how? He clearly used all of his assets to block him out. Maybe there was a way to get into his head.

Though Elliot wasn't paying much attention to Tyrell, he could see that he was struggling to find something to say. Anything to say in fact. Even though he had barely known him for two weeks, he liked to see Tyrell squirm. His natural reaction to Tyrell was to be uncomfortable so it was nice for a change to see him not know what to do. He smiled lightly until his phone vibrated. 

**Darlene: I got what u asked for. its waiting for u in ur room. thx for the free weed btw. u arent getting it back.**

It had been only an hour but somehow he had completely forgotten that he wanted to hack Tyrell Wellick and find out everything he needed to know about him. 

-

Elliot walked into his room, throwing his bag on the floor, so he could look for the file that Darlene had delivered. Granted that they were high when they talked about this serious (minor) issue, he thought he would at least remember where he put it. The Psychology class was two hours so the high wore off and he was ready to figure out his next move. But he couldn't seem to find it over the massive piles of paper he had somehow managed to collect within the first two weeks of school. 

"Looking for something?" a voice said behind him. 

Elliot quickly turned his direction to the speaker. Joanna, Tyrell's apparent girlfriend. "What are you doing here?"

Joanna chuckled, looking in the manila folder labelled with Tyrell's name. "I could counter that accusation with 'why do you have illegally obtained copies of my boyfriend's private records'?"  

"Why do you think?" he asked, squinting his eyes at her. "He rubs me the wrong way."

She laughed. _Tyrell would definitely like that phrasing_. "You have nothing to worry about, and tell your source to find the right Tyrell Wellick." Joanna said, handing Elliot a picture from the file, and walking out his room.

He looked at the picture to see a smiling Asian man with nice headshots. "Darlene....." he spoke under his breathe, frustratingly. He would have to talk to her about her research technique. He balled up the piece of paper, throwing it in the trash. He sighed, grabbing his bag, and leaving his room. What he didn't understand is how she could've _possibly_ screwed up, even after she saw his face when she visited his room. He wanted to be as far away from this hack as possible but his twin sister was going to fuck this up for him, then he had to do it himself. 

Joanna looked out of her door to see if Elliot was leaving. She smiled, putting the phone back up to her ear, "It worked. He's leaving right now and I got your file from his room. Go nuts." 

-

Tyrell walked into Elliot's room, breathing in everything he could about the boy he was enamored with. Tyrell took blue latex gloves out of his pocket, making sure he wouldn't contaminate anything intentionally. This was technically breaking and entering. The first thing that drew him in was Elliot's bed. He made sure not to make any disruptions in the neat folding on this bed. He grabbed the pillow, sniffing intensely. Elliot's scent was heavily dosed on the pillow. Sweet Vanilla. The longer he sniffed, the closer he felt to him in some odd yet spiritual way. Tyrell could only imagine what it would smell like on the actual person. 

His next move was the closet. All of his clothes were practically black with few minor exceptions, like a brown shirt there or a plaid one here. The thing that stood out the most was his signature black hoodie. Tyrell was pleasantly surprised to see that he had two instead of one. He took a quick sniff of the jacket. _It smells just like him._ This was a once in a lifetime moment. Being in Elliot's closet was something that would never repeat its self, especially since he doesn't have a roommate. 

He didn't even bother looking at the rest of the room; he took the prized hoodie and left. Even though Tyrell was supposed to have a roommate, he hadn't been there in a week, it was safe to assume that he had the whole place to himself. To be on the safe side, he locked the door behind himself and prepared for the best experience of his short life. He shortly contemplated whether or not he should take off his gloves, but eventually decided it would be best to keep them on. _For effect_ , he thought. 

Tyrell began to strip his clothes, that he specifically wore for Elliot, and threw them on the floor. To conceal his naked body, he put on Elliot's small black hoodie. Climbing into his bed, relaxing a little, and imagining Elliot there with him. He imagined Elliot's hand slowly tracing his body, making sure to touch every part and take in everything. He imagined himself, reaching out to Elliot's face, finally being able to stare into his eyes for as long as he wanted to. He imagined light kisses trailing from his chest to pelvis; hitting just the right spots, making him moan quietly. He imagined Elliot taking his dick into his hands, rubbing slowly at first then quickening when he sees Tyrell going into frenzy of groans and moans. He imagined entering him and thrusting roughly, because that's the way Tyrell likes it. He imagines all the orgasmic pleasures of their interaction and the sweet taste of Elliot in and on his mouth. But that was all only imagination.

Tyrell moaned loudly one last time until he was finished ejaculating. He inhaled Elliot's scent one more time before deciding it was time to clean up. He looked at the state of Elliot's hoodie and his bed. He needed to fuck someone, and soon. _The best I ever had_ , Tyrell thought, throwing his latex gloves in the trash.  _The best I ever had._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyrell is a perv and we all know it. And don't beat me up if there's any type of inaccuracies. I'm just an ace virgin who can't drive.


	4. Magnetism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks Britney Spears and Drake for helping me through writing this lmfao

Tyrell had been sleeping in Elliot's hoodie for the past three nights, basking in his scent while he still could. Though Tyrell wasn't one for domesticity, all he could do was imagine him and Elliot in his room after a long day of school. They would be in his bed, relaxing and looking into each other's eye, exploring the beauty of each other with a mere gaze and saturated silence. There were so many things to say about Elliot's beauty that all the languages in the world wouldn't be able to describe what he saw in him. _Gross_ , he thought, laughing to himself. He could see Joanna now, mocking him for becoming sappy and sentimental about a guy he had only known for a little under three weeks ago. It was evident that he had never felt like this about anyone else in his life, not even Joanna. 

Having the pseudo-feeling of Elliot being there in his bed made him feel warm inside. Possessing something that Elliot owned replaced some of the strong desire he had of wanting him to be his lover. It was nothing like the real thing, or sex, but this was the best he could do for the time being. Of course he would have to return the hoodie, but there was never a time that Elliot wasn't in his room. Besides, he wasn't too ready to give it up just yet; plus, he had to take it to the laundromat for a deep clean. He had gotten most of the stains out, but hand-washing was nothing compared to a washing machine. Sighing, he threw the hoodie in his closet, making sure it was covered up. 

He walked into the bathroom to look at his hair one last time before leaving his room. Much to his opposition, he had a date tonight which was, unfortunately, not with Elliot. It wasn't a real date, because he wouldn't waste his precious time getting to know a complete stranger when he had other ventures to explore. No, this was more of hookup -- a one night stand at best-- because he needed sexual attention. As much as he wanted to continue his long gazes at Elliot from his seat and imaginative masturbation, he needed to be physical with someone and he couldn't wait around anymore. He could've gone to Joanna but he felt like her tastes were...not something to do in a crowded college dorm room. 

However, the idea of eventually bedding Elliot offered a small sense of comfort and hopefulness while he made this ridiculous trip to meet up with his "date" from Grindr. _One day I won't have to go out of my way for this. I'll have Elliot._ He smiled to himself as he walked out of the building. 

-

Elliot took a long drag of the cig, letting the smoke fill up in his lungs before exhaling through his nose heavily. "Do you ever think that life is just one big ball of shit, you know, a mess of everyone's shit being fucked up?" he passed the blunt to Angela, looking at all the people below them walking by. 

"What do you mean?" Angela asked, taking a hit. 

He sighed. "I mean, everyone is living their shitty lives and trying their best to be something, then suddenly life throws a fucking curve ball at you, telling you to fucking deal with a problem that wasn't there originally. Life wants to fucking ruin all of your plans and dreams with some low brow shit expecting you to come out in the end with perfect results."

Angela look at him for a second with a questioning look, passing the blunt back to him. "What are you trying say?"

"I'm saying...life is shitty." he took another puff. 

"Wait, is this about that guy that has a a crush on you?" she asked giggling a little bit. 

Elliot scolded her, crushing the last bit of the blunt into the roof's gravel. "Don't laugh at me, Angela. This is serious." 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Elliot. I didn't realize a guy who was just trying to talk to you was a threat, my bad." she continued her laughter as they moved off the roof, back into the building so they could leave. 

"Don't trivialize it, he's a fucking psycho." 

"C'mon, Elliot, I would kill for a guy to at least acknowledge me at my school. Maybe I should've applied there after all." she said, jumping down the last couple of stairs. 

He rolled his eyes, ignoring that last comment. "Darlene was supposed to get me his records, but she fucked up and got the wrong one. We can't go for his records again or else the university will notice. I just have to get close enough to his computer, then I could get into his records without alarming anyone." As far as the plan went, it was only an idea. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to know about Tyrell, but it had to at least be good enough so he had leverage and so Tyrell would leave him the fuck alone. 

"It sounds like to me, all you have to do is talk to him." she shrugged, pushing the front door open, exposing the cool breeze on their bodies once again. "It shouldn't be that hard just to talk to him and once you're close enough, get what you need then leave."

"You're right, plus it'll help me with this whole anxiety thing." 

"Yeah, how's that been going?"

"It's getting better. The therapy is really helping." he lied. He hadn't been to his therapist, Christa, in weeks, ever since he had come to school. He didn't think giving up money for the subway or the cab fee was worth it. And he didn't want to concern Angela, his only friend, with things that didn't matter. He would deal with it eventually. 

She touched him lightly on the arm, stopping him. "Seriously, Elliot. You're taking your meds, right?" She had concern written all over her face. 

"Of course. Everything's great, Angela. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." he said, shying away from her touch so they could continue walking.

"Good." she smiled. "You know, I still haven't seen your dorm room. I showed you mine so I get to see yours."

"Elliot!" someone called from behind. Angela and Elliot both turned around to see a tall man walking towards. Almost immediately, Elliot's stomach dropped. It wasn't enough that he had to see him through the weekday, but now he had to see him on his off time too. There was no escaping him. 

"Who's that?" Angela asked in confusion. 

"It's him. That's the guy I was telling you about." he whispered as Tyrell came closer, "I don't know how--"

"Hey! Elliot! It's funny seeing you here." Tyrell said, finally approaching them after a light jog from a couple of yards away. "I could recognize that hoodie anywhere. What are you doing here?"

His instincts told him in this "flight or fight" situation that it would be best to runaway from this man, maybe even throw some curses his way, but he knew that his new plan wouldn't allow for it. He had to be the bare minimum of friendly. "I was just visiting my friend on campus." he said, gesturing towards Angela.

Tyrell smiled.  _A friend._ "Nice to meet you, I'm Tyrell Wellick." he said putting his hand out so she could shake. "I'm in some of Elliot's classes. It's always nice to meet any of his friends."

"I'm Angela, nice to meet you too,"she said, shaking his hand, "I've heard so much about you from Elliot."

"Really ?" Tyrell raised his eyebrows, looking towards Elliot. That was a pleasant surprise that his potential lover had actively talked about him to his friend. Maybe this trip wasn't pointless after all. 

Elliot was reading to scream at the top of his lungs. "I was just telling Angela about my experiences so far there and you might have come up once or twice in conversation. It was nice seeing you, though, but we have a thing to do." he said hurriedly, trying to hint to Angela that he had to get out of here as quick as possible.

"We weren't going to do anything special, I was just going to take you to the subway and go back inside." she said smiling at him. _She's ruining everything_ , Elliot thought, shifting between his feet. 

"Oh well, Angela, if you too weren't doing anything too special, I can take him off your hands for you. Besides, it's not always safe around here at night. I"d hate for something to happen to you that could've been prevented." Tyrell said smiling softly at her. The truth was, if he could get a few minutes alone with Elliot, anything could happen. His plan could set into motion and he could start wooing Elliot. Perfect. 

"That's great. I actually have some work to catch up on. Do you mind, Elliot?" she asked with a smile. She couldn't help but beam at the sight of helping Elliot, even though she didn't realize the extent of Elliot's hate for Tyrell and Tyrell's obsession with Elliot; she was hindering more than assisting. 

Elliot tightened his jaw. "It's fine. I'll see you late." 

"Bye. I'll text you later." she said before walking back into the residential building. She hoped she had done the right thing by pushing them together. 

"So," Tyrell said suddenly, looking at Elliot with a certain glisten in his eye, "do you like Italian?" 

Elliot looked longingly at the residential building after Angela. This was about to be the worst night of his life. Not when he was having his withdrawals; not when he found about his dad's cancer. This single moment in time took the title. "Sure, I eat." 

Tyrell bit his lower lip. "And eat you shall."


	5. I Need You. I Want You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyrell is a big queer wtf

Tyrell tried not to look obvious having put his menu right below his line of sight, so he could pretend to look at all the food options, while really looking at his partner from across the table. He couldn't believe that fate had drawn them together tonight even though they were in the same place for completely different events. Tyrell for his date, and Elliot because he was meeting his friend on campus. It was as if the universe wanted them to be together and he couldn't say no to that. 

Elliot felt like he was in hell. He couldn't blame Angela for thinking that she was helping by mushing them together, no this was his own fault. If he had never told Angela (or Darlene) about this whole situation he wouldn't have been in this problem. Hell, if had applied to MIT like Angela thought he should then he would've never been here in the first place. But his own path to self-destruction brought him to this point in his life and all he could do was deal with it.  _Life and it's fucking shitty curve balls,_ he thought with a sigh. Normally, he would've declined Tyrell's offer but he was in some serious need of food (and a free meal). He hadn't eaten all day and he wasn't looking to die just yet, not from low blood sugar at least. 

"So..have you decided what you want to eat, Elliot?" Tyrell asked, trying his best to start conversation. He could sit there all night stealing glances at his future lover but he thought it would be best to at least _try_ and talk. You could cut the tension with a knife, not that Elliot minded at all, but more silence meant more awkwardness. 

"I think I'll just have some pizza." Elliot replied with a slight sniffle, putting the menu back down on the table. He looked around the restaurant with a cautious glare. Not only did he not like Tyrell, he didn't trust him at all. First, the sudden obsession with him. Then, his weird/suspicious relationship with his supposed "girlfriend" that seemed to not want anything to do with him, while at the same time doing his dirty work. Now, he was buying him dinner at a fancy restaurant like his sugar daddy. Alarm bells were going off at the back of his head. The sensation to runaway was ever present. He just didn't know why he wasn't leaving, or have a good enough reason to leave for that matter. 

Tyrell chuckled a little. He was almost as excited as a little kid in a candy store. "Are you sure? You can get a little more ambitious than pizza. The Tuscan tomato bread soup is great here."

"I think I'll have the pizza." Elliot repeated without giving Tyrell eye contact. Even though being in Tyrell's company made him uncomfortable, he felt even more uneasy in this building but he couldn't pinpoint it.

A women with the company's logo embroidered on her shirt approached the two with a big smile.  "Hi! I'm Kasey, I'll be your waitress this evening. What can I start you two gentlemen off with?" she pulled her pen and pad out to take their order. 

"Well, I'll have water with lemon on the side. For our appetizer we'll have chickpea bruschetta. Elliot...."

"I'll have lemonade." he replied absently, continuing to scan the crowd.

"Ok. One water with lemon, a lemonade, and chickpea bruschetta for your appetizer. Alright, I'll come back when you're ready to order your main course." the waitress smiled one last time before leaving them alone.

Tyrell looked over at Elliot, watching him fidget. The source of Elliot's unease was because he saw _the men_. As if things couldn't possibly get worse, this happens. He didn't know if it was because of the lack of doctor prescribed medicine he was supposed to be taking or the fact that he had done something illegal was the reason they were after him. Either way, he didn't want to take any chances. Half noticing his nervous leg shaking, Tyrell decided to try and engage in conversation again. "You know, when I first came to New York City, this was the first restaurant that Joanna and I went to. We were having lunch shortly after arriving--"

"Great, so I'm getting sloppy seconds."

Tyrell was shocked by Elliot once again. "Well I--"

"Why did you bring me here, Wellick?" Elliot said, suddenly eye contact with him. He was definitely paranoid now. "You must have had a reason to bring me here aside from talking about nothing."

Tyrell was in utter disbelief. Elliot had never been this blunt with him before and he kind of actually appreciated it. "I'm just trying to be your friend, Elliot. Is that a crime?"

"Yes. I have all the friends I need," his eyes shifted between Tyrell and the men in black," Angela has always been there for me." 

"You can't live your life with only one friend, Elliot. You need change, substance. And I'm here to provide that for you. You need me."  _I need you,_ he thought.  _I want you._

Elliot didn't know what to do. A pounding ache in his head was starting to form. There were too many problems, scenarios, and things that could go wrong in one room. He had to leave, he had to escape somewhere. He got up from his seat, saying a quick ' _I have to piss'_ to Tyrell; promptly fleeing to the men's restroom. Everything was too overwhelming for him right now. Checking all of the stalls to make sure they were empty, Elliot let out a soft scream. He couldn't take it anymore. There was too much going on at one time for him causing sensory overload. He went over to the sink, splashing water on to his face.  _This is all temporary. This is all temporary. This is all temporary. This all temporary._ _Pull yourself together, Elliot._ He could see his mom now, slapping him around for even thinking about having a panic attack. 

"Elliot..." Tyrell said, entering the bathroom with caution. He wasn't sure what was going on with Elliot but he wanted to help him in anyway he could, even if it was unlike him. "Are you ok?"

Elliot quickly turned his wet face in Tyrell's direction with shock. _He's not supposed to see me like this._ In a hurried panic, he shut off the running water and started wiping his face. "Oh, God." 

 "I was just coming to check on you. To make sure you were ok, you kind of left in a hurry back there." he started to move slowly towards Elliot. 

"You weren't supposed to see me like this." Elliot took in a sharp breath but breathing heavily wasn't working. He already knew what was happening to him. A panic attack. "You weren't supposed to see me like this at all. Holy shit." he started to collapse to the floor, hyperventilating. Suddenly, things were getting worse. He didn't think he could hit rock bottom that quickly but he had. Although, he did make an accomplishment, three weeks without a panic attack which was a new personal record.

Tyrell rushed to his side. "Elliot. Elliot, you're going to be fine. Just breathe. In and out. Inhale and exhale. Stay calm, don't think about whatever you're thinking about."

"I-I-I-I can't. I can't breathe." 

He tried to hold Elliot, leaning him up against the wall. "Concentrate on your breathing. Slow down. Focus on something else. Focus on me. Just stay calm."

"I can't....what am I supposed to focus on! I can't breathe!!"

Tyrell thought for a moment, trying to come up with a distraction for Elliot. In seconds, he had a solution. "Focus on this," he said, suddenly putting his lips on Elliot's. If this didn't help Elliot then it certainly helped him. 

Before he knew it, he and Tyrell were kissing. His lips were an unforgettable mint chocolate taste, his smell of fresh lavender. Normally, Elliot would be utterly repulsed by him but right now he was somewhat delighted. Though his personality was hard and annoyingly charming, his senses told them that he was completely safe in Tyrell's arms. The strong grip he had on him offered a sense of stability and warmth.

Elliot was everything he expected and beyond. The taste of his tongue in his mouth felt a long awaited victory. He wanted to stay there forever, kissing Elliot and holding him, but he had hope that something like this would happen again. And _better_. Tyrell let go of Elliot, releasing a sigh of content. This was better than anything he could've ever imagined while masturbating. He straightened out his clothes, "Well, if you're calm and ready to go back out there hurry up because our bruschetta will get cold." With one more look at a disgruntled Elliot and a quick lick of the lips, he left the bathroom with a new found confidence and erection.  _God, I can't wait to have him to myself._


	6. A Promise To The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I awkwardly skipped a part to get to the end sorry lol

Tyrell stared at the chickpea bruschetta on the table, trying not to smile. The reason why he was smiling seemed inappropriate at the time, which is why he tried to stop, but he couldn't help himself. He was so giddy at the fact that he had kissed Elliot. Though he imagined their first kiss would be under different circumstances --he always thought it would be a little more romantic and involve less clothes-- he still enjoyed it. He now had an idea that didn't need to be left up to his own imagination anymore. He knew how Elliot felt underneath his grasp, the overwhelming sense of dominance that washed over him was almost orgasmic. He knew how Elliot tasted, like everything he wanted and more and then some. He felt like he was on top of the world, that nothing could make his night better (or worse), until he remembered the reason why the kiss happened. 

Naturally, the euphoric feeling of accomplishment had blinded him of what was the true concern, Elliot's mental state, but it wasn't like he didn't care. It's not like Tyrell was profiting off of his panic attack to take advantage of Elliot; that was never the case. He just didn't know what to do in that particular situation and that was the only logical solution to the present problem. Despite his prominent lust for him, Tyrell cared for Elliot. He was beginning to realize that he was thinking of Elliot as more than a potential lover, which was a little unsettling to say the least. He wasn't sure if his feelings would intensify or diminish by the time they inevitably had sex. Either way, Elliot would have to at least leave the restaurant's bathroom for any of his plans to be accomplished. Tyrell grabbed a piece of the bruschetta, biting into it. 

Elliot threw up into the toilet, clutching his stomach and collapsing on the bathroom floor. Things were spiraling out of control and he couldn't handle it. His high had worn off at this point and he felt like shit. Another panic attack wasn't happening but he felt like it was a better alternative than what was happening now. Tyrell's attempt at calming him down had only worked for a few minutes before he was back to his same anxiety ridden self. The kiss and his feelings during had only brought unnecessary concern, resulting in the uneasy thoughts and his body reacting violently.  _I have to find a way out of here,_ Elliot thought desperately. _I have to find a way out of this shit show._  There weren't any windows in the bathroom so, the only way out was through the front door with Tyrell. He reached for the toiler again, further emptying the contents of his stomach. "Shit," Elliot said, flushing the toilet and getting up from his awkward position on the ground. 

Walking across the room, Elliot attempted to rinse his mouth out with intentions of cleaning himself up. Making sure he didn't look like total shit, he popped a mint in his mouth and left the bathroom. There was no way he could spend another minute in this confined restaurant under the watchful eye of the men in black and Tyrell Wellick's awkward exchanges. He sat down in his respective seat, across from Tyrell, who seemed to be enjoying himself aside from their major setback. He didn't know how to explain his situation to Tyrell without being awkward or providing too much background information. The only people who had ever seen him like that were his mom and his sister and they weren't the nicest people about it. Truth be told, Elliot was scared and was out of ideas. 

"Elliot, are you feeling better?" Tyrell asked, seeing the expression troubled expression on his face. "I know my solution was the, uh, best but I read in a book once that when people have anxiety attacks that you should try your best to distract and keep them calm. Kissing you seemed like the best option at the time. I'm sorry if I over stepped any boundaries." The last statement was half true but he was genuinely concerned and worried. 

Elliot didn't make any eye contact. He almost didn't hear him because of everything going on in his head. "No," he said, barely above a whisper. 

Tyrell reached his hand out to touch Elliot's. "Even though I barely know you and you barely know, I care about you, Elliot. If there's something bothering you just let me know and I can fix it. If you want us to leave then I can call the waitress over here and we can go. I care more about your well being and mental health. Your safety is more important to me than this bruschetta or risotto or any other of these fucking Italian dishes in here. You matter." 

Elliot looked at Tyrell's delicate touch then into his eyes. He couldn't tell if this was his genuine emotion or a clever ruse behind his lifeless eyes but he was going to take this as his way out. It didn't matter if it sounded like an odd declaration of love or not. He removed his hand from the table, letting Tyrell's drop down. "Leaving would definitely be better for me but don't think that this means we're cool or anything."

Tyrell smiled a little. "On the contrary, Elliot. As of right now, I consider myself as your friend, and as a friend I promise to always look out for your best interest."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't sound like you're proposing, Wellick." 

"A promise is a promise, Elliot, and I intend to keep it. By the way, I ordered our food. I didn't know how long you would be in the bathroom and I thought you might want it by now. When the waitress gets here I'll ask for a doggy dag." 

-

Tyrell closed his bedroom door, opening the closet door to dig out Elliot's hoodie. Deeply inhaling the fabric, he thought back to earlier that night. The limited amount of time that they were close together felt like electricity running through his body.  _It still smells like him._ The only thoughts running through his head were those of a sexual nature. He wanted to dominate Elliot; making him get on his knees and beg for it. But at the same time, he couldn't help but remember how he felt outside of his hunger for his future lover. Tyrell was conflicted, not knowing how he truly. What if in the end he actually _loved_ him. He laughed, moving towards the bathroom. The only thing that he loved was power and giving himself an advantage. Elliot couldn't help him with that; besides, if anything, he would be a distraction to his goals and grand plan. But wasn't he already? 

Elliot collapsed on his bed, wishing the day would just end. His easy-going and average day had turned into a shit show in a matter of hours. He couldn't understand what was going or what was happening to him but he could tell he didn't like it. He thought that coming to this university would change things for him. He would stop his addiction, stop worrying about mysterious men watching over him, and finally live a normal cookie cutter life. That dream had only seemed to last one day. Things just seemed to get worse and worse for him no matter what he did. Whether it was because of Tyrell or not, he knew he couldn't take it for much longer. "Fuck it," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number.

"Hello." a woman's voice said on the next line. 

"Shayla, I have a favor to ask. Can you keep a secret?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens in the next chapter??? *gasps*


	7. Deal With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Have you ever made a deal with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

If there was one thing that Joanna hated more than anything was dependence and neediness, and Tyrell was exhibiting those behaviors. Normally, he would be too consumed in one of his many projects and barely had time to even glance her way (which she preferred) but lately it seemed like he was by her side too frequently. He was starting to become more interested in her day, what she was doing, and wanted to interact more than their usual couple times a week plus class. She didn't know why, or care too much for that matter, but it was starting to annoy her. She needed her solitude and privacy and he was starting to ruin it. 

Joanna braced herself on the bed, stroking Tyrell's face while she kissed him. If he was going to annoy her with his presence, then he could at least satisfy her. Tyrell pulled back from her lips. "Joanna, what are your thoughts on marriage?" 

"I think you're ruining the mood." she said, continuing to kiss him and stroke his hair. 

He pulled back again, looking up at her. "Seriously, what do you think about it?" 

"This isn't working," she sighed, getting up from her position on his bed.  _I knew I should've went out with Shayla and her friends,_ she thought. 

"You wouldn't marry me?" he asked, still laying on the bed. 

Joanna walked across the room, picking up her bra and dress from off the floor. Once he started talking about the status of their relationship, she knew there had to be something wrong. It meant that he wasn't focused on someone else, which also meant that his plans with Elliot were at a plateau. His mind didn't work well with no activity, making him suddenly involved in her more. She didn't like it at all. "You're too immature for monogamy. " She started to put her clothes back on, "You constantly act like a child saying 'I want this' and 'I want that' and throw a fit when you can't get what you want. Besides, we're only eighteen. I would never marry you now."

Tyrell pondered for a minute. Maybe she was right, after-all she knew him the best and she was the longest relationship he ever had. "I guess you're right...where are you going?"

 _Going to find a nice pretty girl who's willing to fuck me._ "To see if Shayla and her friends have left yet. Why don't you find Elliot or someone else to occupy your time? Isn't that what you always do when I'm not around?" she was trying to push the idea of involving someone else in his activities and not herself. She was tired of seeing his face, hearing his voice, and his overall company. She could only take him in small doses per day. 

He stared at the ceiling. "I haven't seen him since I dropped him off at his room after we had dinner the other night. He hasn't been in class for a week." 

"You didn't check up on him, to make sure he was ok?" _Idiot_. 

He shook his head. "No. He's probably embarrassed about what happened in the restaurant. I thought I'd give him some time to recover and not bother him. Besides, it seems like we haven't hung out in a while."

"Um, you should go check on him. Actually, you should go do your laundry first. I don't know how you could let that pile form in your closet." she checked herself out in his mirror. She was concocting a plan right before his eyes and he wouldn't be wiser.

He sighed, looking over at his closet. He still had to wash Elliot's hoodie and return it. Plus, the dirty clothes pile had been agitating him for a while now, he just never had the time to wash clothes between school and wooing his future lover. Why not? "You're right. You look beautiful tonight, by the way."

Joanna smiled with force.  _Gross, he's getting sappy._ "Have fun, I'll see you later." As soon as she was out of his room, her smile dropped. She was almost at her breaking point if Tyrell complimented her one more time. She needed to get him out of her hair and into someone else's bed, preferably Elliot's. For some reason, Tyrell had seemed to be attracted to him more than anyone he had ever worked on before. It's not that she was jealous, that would never happen, she just wanted to know what was so special about him. Elliot didn't look like much that could satisfy his hunger, but only time could tell if that was true or not. Besides, Elliot didn't seem the least bit interested in him, which is why she was there to change his opinion. If anyone could take him off her hands, it was him. 

She knocked on Elliot's door. Never in her life did she think that she would be doing this, but she was desperate. The door opened, followed by Elliot's disgruntled head poking out to see who the uninvited knocker was. "Hi, Elliot, remember me?" she said, trying to act cordial and polite. 

 "Of course I remember you. You're Tyrell's 'girlfriend' and someone I don't want to see. What do you want?" He wasn't in the mood for games or Tyrell Wellick. He wasn't necessarily busy but he didn't want to talk to the girlfriend of a man he hated. 

"I have a proposal for you. May I come in?"

He was skeptical. "What about?"

"A way to get Tyrell off your hands forever." she said. This was half true but he didn't need to know that. "Can I come in?"

Elliot opened the door, letting her in. It didn't make sense. Why she was going to help him but he felt like, for some odd reason, needed to hear her out. "Why are you trying to help me?"

Joanna sat down at his desk chair. "I know how annoying Tyrell can be so I'm trying to do you a favor. Dorm neighbor to dorm neighbor." 

"What's the catch?" he asked, crossing his arms. "He's your boyfriend. Why would you want to help someone you don't even know?"

She sighed. "Well, Elliot, I'm going to tell you what his plans for you are and you can do whatever you want with him. I don't really care. I assume you want to get some dirt on him so I'm giving you easy access to him. Do we have a deal?"

"I still don't understand. What's in it for you?" To him it seemed like she had no loyalty, and how trustworthy can someone with no loyalty be. 

"I just like fucking with him." Another half truth. She extended her hand out. "Partners?"

"Partners." he said, hesitantly shaking her hand. Elliot finally had a plan set in stone. Get close enough to Wellick, get information on him, and destroy his life or blackmail him. Perfect.

"One question, though. How much laundry do you have?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joanna is so shady!!!! WOW!!!


	8. Repressed & Depressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter what feels like a thousand times but i finally did it??? the title is also a cool thing where tyrell probably consistently denies his /other/ feelings for elliot and elliot is overall in a terrible mood b/c he's not on his meds so yeah.

Up until this point in his life, Elliot Alderson had never even considered being in a relationship with anyone, much less with someone like Tyrell Wellick. Actually, that was a lie. Of course he thought about it, everyone thinks about spending the rest of their life with someone they care about. It's just that Elliot had never been interested in anyone enough for him to change his views on companionship. Now, everything seemed to be changing. Not because he was interested in Tyrell, that would never happen, but because of the information Joanna told him. Even though she was cryptic with what she told him, only saying what he already knew, she made it abundantly clear that Elliot was supposed to act like he liked him. This would prove to be difficult considering he hated Tyrell with a burning desire, but if it meant he was going to get rid of him then so be it. Elliot inhaled and exhaled one more time before stamping out his cigarette. 

Tyrell aggressively pressed his magic eraser on the stain on his shirt. "Umm you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back, brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that." Tyrell sang, deciding to give up on his shirt, throwing it in the washing machine. Something about doing laundry always relaxed. Whether it was silencing his obsession, or just taking his mind off of things, he enjoyed himself while doing it. However, this time he couldn't silence his mind because all he could think about was Elliot. His time spent with Joanna was only to substitute and dull his loneliness. All week he was bored without Elliot, not to mention he was worried about him, but didn't want to intrude. He figured Elliot was dealing with something and he didn't want to mess with his process. That didn't mean that he wasn't thinking about him constantly, though. He looked at Elliot's hoodie with a sigh, putting it into the washing machine. 

"Wellick." Elliot said, lightly. 

Tyrell jumped in surprise, pulling out his headphones. _Jesus Christ,_ he thought, trying to catch his breath. He didn't expect to see him here. When he was finished here, he was going to check up on him as a surprise. It looked like the tables were turned. "Elliot. Hello. I didn't see you there. How have you been?" 

"Fine." He replied, throwing his clothes into the nearest washing machine. This was completely untrue, considering he almost got admitted into the hospital twice this week, but he didn't need to know that. "What have you been doing?"

Tyrell briefly glanced at Elliot's hoodie, that stood out among all of the various clothes in the washing machine. He closed the door, quickly turning the machine on. "Nothing much besides studying. Where have you been all week?" _I missed you._

_Having blackouts caused by panic attacks, which are from my high levels of anxiety because of you._ "I've been sick, I hope I didn't miss too much." This small talk is killing him, he hated it. 

"You don't have your hoodie on." Tyrell noted. "I don't think I've ever seen your arms before."

Elliot tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. The price of being nice to people, especially Tyrell. "I don't think I've ever seen you with sweatpants on." 

Tyrell chuckled for a second. He had missed Elliot's sarcastic demeanor and dry humor, which made him think about the real reason why he might not have been in school. He wasn't dumb enough not to see his _obvious_ lie. He knew he shouldn't really bring it up because it's probably a sensitive subject but he was already so intrigued. "Elliot, about last week..."

Normally, when a (traumatic) event happens between two people that don't really know each other, they tend not to talk about. Elliot thought that once they were outside restaurant, there had been some unwritten agreement that they wouldn't discuss what happened. He thought _at least_  after that night they wouldn't discuss it. Any decent human being would brush it off and never speak of the event ever again as long as they lived. Elliot had made the mistake of thinking that Tyrell was a decent human being with common sense. He slammed the washing machine door, turning it on. "I need some air." he said, quickly walking out of the laundromat. It didn't take long for Tyrell to set him off. 

Tyrell hadn't even said real words yet and Elliot had already managed to evade his questioning. He didn't want him to be upset, all the progress he made establishing a base for their relationship would be gone, but at the same time he wanted to know. Curiosity and want always got the better of him. He walked after Elliot.

Elliot Alderson, in this specific moment, wanted to die more than anything in the world. Tyrell being the bane of existence was the source of this particular familiar feeling. He was asking questions that he couldn't and wouldn't answer. He needed his brain to just silence itself for one second so that he could think. At this point, smoking was the only legal thing that would calm him down. He had had one before he walked in but he definitely needed one now. His sudden,  more apparent anxiety made him think about similar times back when he had his addiction. Morphine was his go-to in times of need, and it felt like today was one of those times. So many things just didn't add up tonight. He pushed a shaky hand down on his lighter, trying desperately to light his cigarette. 

"I didn't mean to upset you, Elliot. I was just concerned." Tyrell tried to explain. "It's just that you didn't come to school and I wasn't sure if something bad happened to you or not. I'm sorry for asking but I just wanted to know. I made a promise to you." 

The lighter finally clicked, letting a small flame ignite the cigarette. He slowly inhaled the nicotine, trying not to look Tyrell in the eye. He honestly didn't know what to say to him. There was no way he was going to talk to him about his feelings, that was what his therapist was for, but he knew he wouldn't drop it if he didn't say anything. He wished for a second that he had his hoodie on so he could mask himself from the demands of the world. He exhaled, releasing the fumes into the world. "Listen, Wellick, I appreciate your concern but I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me."  _Another lie,_ he thought, putting the cigarette back up to his mouth.

"I just wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong between us."  _Idiot! That sounds selfish._ "And to make sure that you didn't feel uncomfortable about any of that." 

He sighed. "Would it make you feel better if I told you we could be friends?" Elliot asked, completely disregarding his last comment. "Only my friends are concerned about me and it seems pretty odd that a complete strange would care about me at all."

Tyrell raised his eyebrows. "What?"

He inhaled and exhaled his cigarette. "Don't worry about me anymore, Tyrell. I'm completely fine." 

"I'm incredibly confused. What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're friends now and you don't have to worry about me. I say that to all the people that seem to care about me." Elliot blew smoke into his face before disposing of his cigarette. "So shut up and stop asking me questions about that night."

He was completely dumbfounded by what he was hearing. Elliot Alderson, his future lover, actually said that he wanted to be friends with him. This wasn't made up in his head or some type of dream sequence. This was real. "I-I-I-ok. That's great, I-I'm glad you've accepted us as friend. Wow. Ok." Elliot stared at the tall man trying to enunciate and failing. "You know what, um, we can go back to my room until our clothes are done. I could show you what you missed in class. I-I-I have some leftover bruschetta that we could eat."

He was hesitant about going into Tyrell's room half-willingly but Joanna's advice was echoing in his head: _be friends with him, be nice to him_. If he was going to execute this plan then he was going to have to do it. "I guess I'll lead the way," he said, walking in front of Tyrell, "by the way, what's with you and bruschetta, anyway?"

Tyrell smiled. He didn't know what it was, but seeing Elliot at eleven o'clock on a Friday with the moonlight illuminating his face did something to him. He didn't know if it was the fact that he was slightly aroused by Elliot's sudden demands or if it simply the strong feelings he felt in his stomach right now; but, he definitely felt something for Elliot in that moment. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such an ugly chapter lol. also the song tyrell was singing/rapping is shoop by salt n pepa!!!! It's a personal headcannon of mine that instead of boring classical music, he listens to late 80s-90s hip hop when he's bored. what a nerd!


	9. Breaking The Barrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliot owns Tyrell's ass!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated Sexualities List:  
> Elliot- grey aro/ace  
> Tyrell- pan  
> Joanna-pan (believes in polyamory)  
> Darlene- bi, homoromantic  
> Angela-straight (mostly)   
> I'm really into the idea of people also giving me their sexuality headcannons because I think it's important to share (lol) and It's interesting to see how people's opinions differ from mine. But tbh I'll fist fight someone to death to protect Elliot's status as ace, haha.

 

There was something entirely off about the normal ambiance in Tyrell Wellick's door room that he couldn't pinpoint. Maybe it was the fact that he actually tidied up since the first time he moved in; maybe it was because there were signs of his mysterious roommate in here; or maybe it was because Elliot Alderson was sitting on his bed trying desperately not to be awkward about the whole situation. This wasn't exactly how he imagined Elliot sprawled out on his bed but he had to make do with what he had. It didn't take long for them to get from the laundromat to his room, and it took even less time for Tyrell to think of elaborate fantasies for the real reason Elliot was approaching his bedroom. A man could dream at least. 

Elliot didn't make eye contact with Tyrell as he hurriedly wrote down the class notes he missed. Being in the lion's den, as known as Tyrell's room, made his skin crawl. Though there were no visible sign of him being a psycho killer (i.e. bloody gloves or weapons), he still couldn't help but feel unsafe. He felt like no matter how many times he saw Tyrell a week or how long he spent time with him, there would always be a level of discomfort around him. It was like a gazelle waiting for the lion to pounce and trying to run away at the last minute. The microwave beeped loudly startling him.

"Don't worry it's only the food." Tyrell said, taking the appetizer from the week prior out of the microwave and putting it on his desk. For the first time in a while, he didn't know what to say. If this was any other person in the world, he would use his charm and words to persuade them to sleep with him but he couldn't do that in this situation. Elliot wasn't like the rest, he wasn't easy like them. There was a level of challenge and expertise needed to conquer him. Besides, he didn't think a few sensual words and good looks would win him over. He could tell the caution that Elliot had around him and he knew the first thing to do would be to break that barrier, if there was a way to do that at all.  

"Network Technology." Elliot said suddenly, turning a page in his notebook. The silence was deafening and while this may have been comfortable around any other person, it felt eerie around the likes of him. He could plotting his murder and means of clean up. He'd seen the box of unmistakable medical blue gloves when he walked in. 

"What?" Tyrell asked. 

"That's my major in case you were still wondering. The first day we met you asked why I came here but I never really answered." 

Tyrell took a bite of the bruschetta. He didn't want to admit it but he actually looked up Elliot's information on the school's database. He knew a little bit about hacking, but it's a skill he didn't like to brag about, especially when it could be used for leverage. "I figured. We're in most of the same technology classes. We should sit together more often." _Smooth, Tyrell, smooth,_ he thought. 

Elliot resisted to the urge not to roll his eyes. _This whole plan would work a lot better if he wasn't as obsessed with me_ , he thought. "Yeah." he paused for a minute. "Why aren't you in any of my gen ed classes besides communications and psych? Almost everyone from orientation seems to be there."

He was actually showing an interest in him. Tyrell smiled, "I took advanced placement classes in high school so I wouldn't have to take those tedious and boring notes with professors that don't really seem to care about anything. That way I have more time to focus on my actual degrees." 

_Wow, he's actually a smartass_. "That makes sense, I guess. You must've put in a lot of work to do that."

He nodded, chewing some more of the grilled bread. He didn't really want to talk about school or his accomplishments anymore. Anyone could say that they were the best in high school or got a 4.0 GPA. That wasn't something that really held someone like Elliot's interest and Tyrell could tell that he didn't want to talk about it either. The conversation just didn't feel natural. He was being uncharacteristically blunt and outward tonight. "Elliot, you know you don't have to ask superficial questions just to keep the room filled with audio. We can sit here in silence." As much as he liked to hear his precious voice, he didn't want him to talk if he wasn't comfortable or interested. 

Elliot didn't reply, nodding in agreement. _At least he had common sense about one thing_.

Tyrell tapped his hand on the desk. There had to be some way that he could convince Elliot that he wasn't a threat, that way his plan could advance further. He didn't care how long it would take, he just wanted his future lover to feel as comfortable around him as possible. The only way to do that is through confidence and being bold. "Elliot, what's your number?"

"What?" He was surprised. He didn't think Tyrell would be this forward this quickly, especially since they just solidified their friendship thirty minutes ago. 

"I know I'm being a little ambitious but I mean, you know, in case of an emergency we can contact each other. For example, when you're not in class, I can make sure to record audio for you and take careful notes or something like that. I don't want it to come off as weird though. Never-mind that sounds too weird, sorry." Ok, so maybe requesting his phone number wasn't the best route to go. _Idiot_. 

Only six people had his number: Darlene, Angela, Shayla, his mom, his former morphine dealer, and his psychiatrist. He never really thought about giving his number away while he was here, but Shayla had surprised him with her (drug) connections and eagerness about wanting to become friends. Now, Tyrell was doing the same thing. "Uh..." Is this how people felt when they were getting asked out? "...I guess." 

Tyrell's eyes lit up. "Really?" 

"Sure." _No_. "You can have it." _NO_. "I'll write it down for you." _NO!_

_"_ Thank you. I hope that didn't sound extra weird. It's just that I like to have my friend's numbers-"

Elliot handed him the slip of loose leaf paper. "Don't make this weird, Wellick."

"Right." he said, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. _Everything is actually working_.   

_-_

Elliot walked out of the laundromat, taking in the late summer air. There was no way in God's green Earth did he think that he would ever give his number away to a total stranger, no matter how bad he wanted to get away from him. Was this a sign that he was finally losing his mind? 

"Hey, Elliot!" Tyrell called from a short distance away. 

He stopped his walk and turned around. As if nearly three hours of spending time with each other weren't enough, he had something else to say. "It was nice spending time with you. I hope we can do it again sometime." Tyrell yelled with glee. 

He gave him an awkward thumbs and turned back around to continue his journey to his residential building. Maybe he was really losing it. 

Tyrell smiled, watching Elliot walk across the grass to his dorm. The amount of time he spent with his future lover was like a gift from God himself. There was nothing about tonight that he would take back. The strong feeling he felt at the pit of his stomach; the lump in his throat; his increased heart rate. He cherished every moment he had with him as if it were his last. He swallowed. "Am I falling in love with him?"

Elliot walked into his room, throwing his bundle of laundry to the ground. He needed to talk to Joanna as soon as possible. He needed to know anything and everything about Tyrell's plans for him before he slipped up into giving him personal information again. There was no way this could happen ever again. He collapsed on his bed with a big sigh of relief, putting his cigarette up to his lips.  _That fucker._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You & I" by Years & Years is the Tyrelliot song of the century. Also, Tyrell is a big blubbering gay baby! He's a big fat mess!!!


	10. Blurring The Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so promptly after I did my last update, my wrist got fucked up?? But now that I'll medically clear to type and write again and now that I have finished my dumb writer's block. Ok anyway, back to the gay!!

Joanna looked at Elliot from across the table, stirring sugar and honey into her tea mixture. Elliot summoned her to a nearby café for what she presumed was to get more information about Tyrell’s plans. Her intention was to feed Elliot as little information as possible so that she could keep her and Tyrell’s interactions to a minimum as long as she wanted. It’s not that she hated him or anything—that wasn’t the correct term—she just found that sometimes he could be unbearable. Joanna was sure that she at the very least liked him, which is why she allowed him to “date” her; but, she just wasn’t sure if she quite loved him yet. There were definitely mixed feelings about their relationship status, considering they were in an open relationship, and she didn’t know if at this point she wanted to go any further with him. She just needed him to be distant while he did whatever it is that he does, and she knew that she could use Elliot as a way to keep him away. “So what brings me here, Elliot? You were very cryptic in your text. I’m sacrificing my break for you.” She said, blowing on her hot tea.

This was the very last thing Elliot wanted to do. He would much rather be sitting on the roof smoking and avoiding his problems than be with Joanna right now. It’s just that ever since he spent his Saturday night with Tyrell, he wanted to know more than he was getting. He didn’t trust Joanna but she had no reason to lie because she approached him, so he had nothing to do other than trust her word regardless of how disloyal she appeared. “I wanted to know more. All you told me was that Tyrell had something planned for me and things I've already guessed. I need to know exactly what it is, he’s doing. I slipped up and gave him my number and I don’t want something like that happening again.”

“Well I can tell you for certain that he’s not planning anything right now.” She sipped her tea, looking at Elliot objectively. If she could hold this line of questioning off for just a little while then she would. The only flaw in her plan that she didn’t consider is that Elliot was paranoid and cared a lot about the details rather than trusting anyone’s word.

 “What do you mean?”

“The last I heard from him is that he wanted to take the day off, not that you would’ve noticed. He’s the one who’s always looking and paying attention to you.” This was true. Joanna received a text this morning from him apologizing about not being able to walk with her to class. He never took breaks, _ever_ , not even in high school when he was sick. He never wanted to miss a day willingly. This made her want to question what was really going on with him but she didn’t want to pry; prying equaled clinginess and that’s not what she wanted at all. She figured that they would discuss it one way or another.

He _had_ noticed that Tyrell wasn’t in their psychology class this morning, he just figured that he sat next to Joanna or something. Elliot frowned. “Then where the fuck is he?”

She laughed. “Why do you care? He’s probably mopping about some existential crisis.” This was actually the perfect moment to get him off her hands again. “It actually isn’t like him at all. Anyway, the best information from the source, if you asked him yourself he might actually tell you.” _That’s how lovesick he is,_ she thought.

He sighed at his vain attempts to get straight to the facts. Obviously, Joanna wasn’t going to give him anything until she was ready. He could see that she wanted to do this on her own terms that much was clear. “Don’t think is over, Joanna.” He said, putting his hood over his head, leaving her there.

She smirked, sipping her tea again. Things were going just her way and she couldn’t be happier.

-

Tyrell stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed, releasing a long breath that he had been holding. The subtle sun-rays coming through the blinds from across the room made him squint in the thinly veiled darkness. The deep black abyss that was the door room, seemed to reflect his mood and thought pattern as of later. There seemed to be no escape from the troubling thoughts that followed him everywhere he went, making him question everything that made him _him_. Ever since Saturday night, he had been thinking about Elliot and their relationship (or their lack of one). In this beginning it was all fun and games, appearing to be like something he had done many times before. His escapades usually lasted for a week or two before he eventually go tired of his current lover, leaving them to their own devices and never speaking to them again. He did this all the time back home (which is why he probably had no friends), never having to worry about anything like lover or _feelings_ because he thought that he was above them. He thought that he was better than everyone else and their emotions. He thought that people who easily gave into their emotions and romantic feelings were weak; making him instantly want to turn away from them. He just didn’t think someone like him would fall victim to the very thing he hated the most. Just for one guy.

The boy yawned, stretching after a long rest in a stiff position, facing the direction that Tyrell laid. “Hey.”

Tyrell continued to stare at the ceiling. “Hey.”

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I usually don’t but you were so…good.” The boy smiled, looking at him with a sense of satisfaction. This wasn’t their first interaction and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last; it just seemed like today was _different_ , maybe even special. They never met during the day, and it was usually at the very minimum once every two weeks, it was like clockwork. But, recently their regular schedule has deviated lately, especially today.

“Thanks.” He said, not fully paying attention to the compliment he received. At any other time he would take pride in pleasing others, giving a boost to his ego, but right now he was distracted. He didn’t know what to feel right now considering he wasn’t deriving pleasure from his favorite pastime, which was having sex. So many things were complicated and he didn’t like it. “I think I should go,” Tyrell got up from the twin sized bed, collecting his clothes from the floor. Everything was starting to get depressing. He didn’t want to think about Elliot or his feelings, but every time he thought about not wanting to think about him, he thought about him more.  

The boy sat up, trying to protest his departure. “You-you don’t have to leave right now. We could just sit here and do something or, I don’t know, maybe go for round 3.”  

"I think I'll..." Tyrell's phone vibrated four times abruptly, interrupting him. He apparently missed a lot of text messages. 

**Elliot: ????**

**Elliot: this is a weird first text but where the fuck are u?**

**Elliot: why arent you in class??????**

**Elliot: joanna asked me to find you**

His phone vibrated again.

**Elliot: nevermind dont reply**

**Elliot: wellick, dont ever miss class again. i cant fall asleep w/o u here wth**

Tyrell smiled, despite currently being emotionally compromised. He typed a message into his phone ( _I've been busy. I needed a break like you._ ). 

**Elliot: whatever dickweed**

He chuckled to himself, his previous emotions seeming to become suppressed. He turned back to his booty call. "Sorry, uh, I have a lot to do. I'll just see myself out." 

The boy frowned. "Ok. I guess I'll see you around then."

Tyrell walked out of the door room, trying hide his sudden boost in mood. Elliot deciding to text him added an extra pep in his step, and some clarity to his particular mood. When it came to Elliot, it didn't matter what was going on, as long as he talked to him then he would be content. He sniffed Elliot's black hoodie, he had been wearing all day. However, nothing was better than the physical touch and emotional closeness he wanted to have with his future lover. _I can't believe that I might be actually falling in love with him,_ he though with a sigh. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What in store next for Tyrell and his heavy emotion train??? (✿◠‿◠)


	11. A Moment of Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter will speak for itself lol. also, i can never commit to long chapters smh.

Tyrell stood at the front door of the room, debating whether or not to go inside, knock, or a variation of the two. He had never been in this type of situation before so he wasn't exactly sure what to do. He didn't know what he was doing here in the first place, or what in particular he wanted to say. It was midday on a Tuesday, he didn't even know if he would be in his room at this time. He sighed, deciding to turn around and run back to his dorm until he heard the door creak open. 

Elliot almost didn't expect to see Tyrell at his door-- not that he wanted him there in any way, shape, or form--  but his texts were vague enough to elicit a visit from his least favorite person in the world. He was starting to regret even giving out his number to Tyrell in his moment of weakness; a slip-up that he would never let happen again. Though Joanna didn't give him what he wanted, he would have to infer for a while. He's sure if he didn't happen to intend on leaving his room anytime soon, he would still be outside lingering. "Well look who decided to show up." Elliot said, propping himself up against the door. If he was going to try and be nice, he could at least put in friendly language. 

"I...yeah. I got your texts. They were...confusing." Tyrell said, taking in short breaths. No matter how many times he saw Elliot, he could never get over the absolute beauty that radiated off of him, even though his closed off demeanor said otherwise. That feeling of breathlessness was worsened with the discovery of his new feelings. He wanted to touch him so badly, take in his scent that wasn't directly from his hoodie. At least he had sense enough to dispose of it before he came. "To say the least." 

He scoffed. "Sorry it wasn't up to your vernacular," _Not to sound like I care but_ , "where were you today?" 

Tyrell thought back to the series of moans, rough touches, and thrusting involved last night and earlier that morning. "I needed a break for a day. Elliot, were you concerned about me?" he asked with a hint of a smile. It was great to imagine that there was a level of sincerity in his text messages other than him asking about his whereabouts besides inquiring for Joanna. 

"That sounds like a bullshit excuse you would tell someone so they wouldn't worry about you. You're an overachiever, there's now way you would willingly take a day off of school for no reason. And I wasn't concerned about you, I was more concerned with my napping schedule." he said flatly. 

Tyrell chuckled. "Are you finished your classes for the rest of the day?" 

Elliot nodded. He didn't like this sudden change of topic, nor did he like the way he was looking at him. There were only a million ways that this conversation could head and he didn't like his odds for any of them. If he had an algorithm for all the possibilities and outcomes for his conversations with Tyrell (or people in general) it would make his life a lot easier. 

The next thing that Tyrell wanted to say could possible change the whole dynamic of their "relationship" and he didn't know if he was ready for it yet. They'd only known each other under 2 months (give or take), yet his feelings were strong enough for Elliot that it felt like they'd been together for a years. He was rarely nervous for anything, but this seemed to be the one exception. He swallowed, settling on chickening out. "Can I see your notes from today?" 

"Sure." Elliot moved out of the doorway, disappearing into his room to let the nervous man in. "Sorry for the mess. I didn't expect anyone to come into my room." 

Tyrell walked into his room, closing the door behind them. He hadn't actually legitimately been inside of Elliot's room ever since he borrowed his hoodie weeks ago. Of course, there was a new feeling to the room now that he wasn't in there by myself; but there was a sense of familiarity and homeyness that drew him into the environment easily. "Nice place." he said, trying desperately not to seem odd in his future lover's eyes.

He rummaged through his backpack, searching for his notebook. He was hoping that this would be the last time that he would need to rely on himself to take notes; being forced to be around Tyrell did have its advantages. He finally retrieved the notebook, handing it to him. "It's messy but legible." 

Tyrell gripped the notebook, noticing its slightly tattered condition even though it's still the beginning of the semester. "Thanks. What were you planning on doing before I arrived?" He didn't want to leave just yet; he was re-deciding on whether or not he would ask his life changing question and wanted to delay his departure as much as possible.

"It can wait, it's not that important." He was actually going to go find Shayla so they could further discuss his inquiry about her drug connections. But, he didn't think that was worth mentioning to someone as straight edge as Tyrell, or rather, he didn't want him knowing anything about him that could potentially get him in trouble. "

"Oh, well, I guess I'll go to my room and take this notes. I don't want to keep you waiting." he said, turning to leave but pausing. "Go on a date with me, Elliot." Tyrell said quietly. 

"What?" he asked, assuming that he misheard him. 

He let out a breath, raising the volume of his voice. "Will you go a date with me?" his proposal was impromptu but it had to be done. He couldn't take it anymore. Though he was determined to court him regardless, he just couldn't wait for the right moment in his plan anymore. At this point, his feelings and heart spoke for him instead of his brain and penis. 

Elliot stared at him with a mix of confusion and shock. He felt a lump form in his throat. 

Tyrell wanted to apologize for being so forward, but he didn't. This was what he wanted, after all, but he was starting to regret it, telling by the look on his partner's face. Maybe it was too sudden of a move to make, maybe he wasn't the right time.  _Idiot. Idiot. Idiot._

"I...I'll have to think about it." Elliot finally said after a moment of silence. 

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah." Was all that he could attempt to say, as a felt the now burning feeling in his throat get more intense. 

"Wow, ok. Well," he said scratching the back of his had awkwardly, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." he smiled at his future lover before leaving his room with a sense of confidence. The last thing he thought would happen was Elliot almost accepting his suggestion instead of readily declining. Speaking with his feelings seemed to be working in his favor. 

Elliot closed the door behind Tyrell, slowly collapsing against it. He put his hands over his face, closing his eyes to concentrate, taking in the events that had transpired right before him. As if things couldn't have gotten worse, they started diving into the metaphorical abyss. Of course, he knew that at some point Tyrell would want something other than just his friendship but he just didn't think that his _feelings_  would advance this quickly. He was playing with fire. There was no way he wanted to go on a date with the man that cause him so much anxiety, the man who constantly made him uncomfortable, the man he hated the most. Coming to this university felt like a mistake, everyday, no matter what perspective he looked at it with. Realistically, he should've went with Angela or taken that semester break like he wanted. He wasn't made for this amount of stress or anxiety. He was almost certainly failing most of his classes because of his week of absence, it seemed like every other week he was having an anxiety attack, and the worst of all he was seeing things again. He couldn't take it anymore. _Fuck_. 

He got up from his position on the floor to walk across the room, wiping the tears off his face. He pulled open the bottom drawer of his desk, moving junk around to find what he was looking for. Finding what he was looking for, he threw it on the desk. He stared at the small white pill in the equally small clear bag with disgust. The one and only thing that made everything just STOP. He exhaled heavily. This was the only pill he had kept after he decided to go sober. It was his version of a "break in case of emergency". If there was ever any moment to "break" the seal on the plastic bag, he didn't know what was.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to my friend who wouldn't stop asking about when the new chapter was coming out. my fic is like fine wine, between each chapter you have to give it room to breathe, man. also, damn Elliot, back at it again with the poor life choices :(((( until next time, guys. <3


	12. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched the entirety of Mr Robot again (but for school purposes) so I thought it was about time to do this again because I'm late on my every 2 weeks thing again. it's been a rough week, folks.

Elliot fidgeted uncomfortably on the bench, slowly exhaling the tobacco smoke that was inhabiting his lungs. He stared into the night sky, fingering the small white pill enclosed in the plastic that seemed to be burning a hole in his pocket. At this moment, Elliot wanted to give into his strong temptations and addiction driven thoughts because everything as of late was pointing in one direction and one solution. Take the drug. Every being in his body vibrated at the idea of finally giving in; finally allowing himself to take what he was depriving his body of. His cells longed for just a _taste_ of morphine again, convincing a part of his brain that it would be worth it.  Just _one_ taste and that would be it.  He had already built up a tolerance so it wouldn't matter. He would be fine. Everything would turn in his favor again if he just did _one_ line. No matter what the voices in his head were saying, no matter what his urges dictated, he knew that morphine wouldn't help him. 

Right now, the only thing holding him back was thinking about the repercussions of his actions. There were too many endless possibilities that could happen if he took the pill that nearly ruined his life several months earlier again. There was no way to predict an exact course of action that ended with him being healthy and happy. There was no algorithm that could help him with his human considerations. He had to figure it out himself but he knew he was too ill-willed and vulnerable to come up with something to even begin to help. He took another drag from his cigarette, looking at all of the people walking by. They were normal. They didn't have to worry about anything like this. Elliot wanted the illusion of normalcy, yearning to be like the rest of the herd. He just wasn't built for it; he wasn't installed with the software required to _be normal_. Was this how everyone reacted to being asked out? _Jesus fucking Christ_ , he thought. 

Angela sat down on the bench beside her friend, handing him an aluminum wrapped burrito. "I got your favorite." 

"Thanks," he said barely above a whisper. Elliot had called Angela in his initial shock and hour of panic, displaying a literal cry for help that convinced her to drop her finance textbook and come over. Now that she was here she was trying to be the best friend that she could be considering the circumstances. He wasn't clear on the phone and she knew he would only be more cryptic in real life but it was worth a shot.

"You sounded really upset on the phone. What's been going on with you?" She wanted to sound less confrontational but there was no getting around being straight-forward when Elliot liked to deflect questions. 

He looked at his burrito marked with the letter ‘C’ for chicken. Elliot wasn’t open for talking about feelings but Angela had come all this way just to make sure he was ok. Besides, he didn’t have a support system other than her so he _had_ to talk to her. She was the only one. “I feel like I’m fucking suffocating, Angela. I just can’t do it anymore. Between the work load and the people…I can’t do it.”

She put her burrito down, lightly touching his shoulder for comfort. “Listen to me, Elliot, you can do this. You’re one of the smartest people I know and you’re going to be the best computer engineer ever. Don’t let the stress get to you because this is something you’re really good at. No matter what you may think or what your mom may tell you, you deserve to be happy and I’m here to support you 100% of the way.”

Elliot could sense the sincerity in her voice but as much as he wanted to believe Angela, his mind said otherwise. He could never imagine himself being happy but at least morphine helped with that momentary delusion. He threw his cigarette on the ground, stamping it out. He could feel himself wanting to go into another fit of crying but he had to resist it for now; that was reserved for home and his isolation from the rest of the world. He cleared his throat, hoping that would hold his tears back. “So how have you and Ollie been? I haven’t heard about him in a while.”

“We’re on a break.” She said, taking a bite out of her burrito. She didn’t like the sudden change in topic but she knew that it was for the best. They would talk about it later; it was too public here.

“You have awful taste in men.”

She scoffed. “It’s a part of dating until you find your soul mate, Elliot. You wouldn’t know because you never date anyone.”

“It’s not like people are trying to approach me either.” He said, unwrapping his burrito. In his own way, he tried to explain his feelings toward dating and sex without explicitly using the words ‘asexual’ and ‘aromantic’; regardless, Angela never fully understood that it meant he would close to never refer to someone as his partner.

“What about that one guy? What was his name…Tyrell?”

A tight knot formed in Elliot's stomach. The slightest mention of his name made him feel uneasy. It seemed like he could never get away from him, even in an offhanded comment by his best friend. He wished that he could go one night without speaking that fucker's name. He was the main source of his emotional anguish, though he didn't want to admit it; Elliot still felt like it was his fault for even entertaining the very _idea_ of them being together-- friends or regardless. Suddenly his burrito didn't look all that appetizing. He recovered it. "What about him?"

"You haven't mentioned him in a while." she said, chewing her food, "actually, you haven't talked about him since I met him weeks ago. Has your plan been working?"

He briefly glanced down at his pocket. "It's been alright." 

Angela frowned, sensing his obvious lie. "You know I hate when you lie, Elliot. So just tell me the truth."

A lump was forming in his throat. As much as he didn't want to lie to her, he didn't want to tell her any specific details about Tyrell Wellick. It was bad enough that he had gotten himself involved, he didn't want to bring Angela into the messy situation. There was a reason he stopped telling her about him after they met "coincidentally" that fatal night weeks ago. There was no telling what he was capable of, especially since Joanna neglected to tell him about his plan. He was running in blindly at this point. "Nothing's been happening." he sighed, "Except he....he asked me out." 

She raised her eyebrows. "Woah. Woah. Woah. This is major information, Elliot. Why didn't you tell me?!"

He got up from his position on the bench, taking a sharp breath in. "It's not a big deal." 

"Uh, Elliot, I think it a huge deal. This is the first time anyone has asked you out on a date. What did you say?" Angela was excited. This was the first time anything like this had happened. Though she knows he doesn't like Tyrell, she still wanted to know what his exact reaction was. 

The excitement that Angela was displaying made his stomach flip. The very thought of being in a relationship with him want to throw up. He knew that she couldn't help herself because this was a first for him but that didn't make him any less queasy. "I said that I'd think about it." he put his hand in his pocket, gripping the sealed package. 

"Why did you say you'd think about it?"

"I don't like him, Angela." he said bluntly. 

"I know, but isn't this apart of your plan?"

He was silent, pulling out his pack of cigarettes, letting go of his small pill. She was right, but how far was he willing to go with his plan? What if there was nothing--absolutely nothing to blackmail him with? He would be stuck in a position that he couldn't get out of. He couldn't act like he would be complacent with being Tyrell's. There was no way in hell that he would go that far. He would never escape. 

"Elliot, are you ok?" she didn't like the look he had on his face; it was unsettling at to say the least. 

He put his lighter up to the cigarette with shaky hands. "I think I need help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor bby Elliot. Also, I swear when I'm writing these chapters they're much longer. But oh well


	13. Wait For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom's computer cord broke so I couldn't upload a while ago like I wanted to so here it is now, like 3 weeks ago. Also, the fic title is based on the Hamilton song "Wait For It".

Water cascaded down Tyrell’s back, letting every droplet fall, while he stood underneath the shower head. Tension gradually released from his shoulders as he let the hot water mix with soap on his body. Though he wasn’t a nervous person, Tyrell had been anxiety ridden for the last couple of weeks. He was not a patient man so waiting around for a response was anything but soothing. He couldn’t speed up the decision process, all he could possibly do was wait; so that’s what did. He waited. And waited. And waited. It had been 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours, 24 minutes, and 30 seconds since he had last spoken to Elliot (more or less).

In an effort to make Elliot not seem pressured or rushed in his decision making, Tyrell told him that he would stop talking to him until he was ready to give him an answer. Of course, originally, he thought that this process would only take a couple of days before he received a ’yes’ or ‘no’ answer; he never considered the idea that Elliot would need more than a day or two to decide what he wanted to do and how he would approach this sudden change in their relationship. After the initial few days, he was stunned that his fate wasn’t decided. No one he was interested in pursuing had ever said no to him, because he was a desirable person, so he was more than surprised to learn that he needed more time. He had overestimated his own appeal which probably added to longevity of the situation. Despite this realization, Tyrell couldn’t fathom that Elliot wasn’t ready just yet. And not talking to him was _killing_ him.

It wasn’t like Tyrell _couldn’t_ talk to him, it was the whole principle of the situation. He’d already promised he wouldn’t interrupt him so he had to stand by his statement or else he seemed like a liar. Every time Elliot sat next to him in class or he saw a brief glimpse of his future lover, he felt his heart ache. There was something about not being able to talk to someone you long for that set him off. It didn’t feel like lust anymore, it felt like genuine endearment. He loved his face, he loved his voice, and he loved his clothes. He loved everything about him, and that made him sick. He wanted to be close to him in a way that wasn’t possible at the moment. No amount of sleeping in his hoodie or basking in his scent could match his strong urge to be physical with Elliot.

Kisses trailed down his back, followed by hands caressing his naked body. “I thought you left,” the boy said from behind him. “You usually never stay this long.”

“I needed to get cleaned up,” Tyrell said, not opening his eyes as he continued to let the water hit his face. Much to his dislike, his hookup sessions had become more frequent as his ‘break’ from Elliot expanded. As much as he didn’t want to come here, he couldn’t wait until he was ready to engage Elliot sexually to have sex; he liked it too much to stay abstinent, and he didn’t want to bother Joanna with his requests because he knew his heart wouldn’t be in it, nor would hers.

The boy smiled. “I can make us some lunch since you’re still here. You never stay long enough for me to cook for you.”

“Sounds great,” he said, forcing a smile. “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”

“Ok, I’ll go put some clothes on.” The boy said, exiting the shower and leaving the bathroom.

Tyrell sighed, opening his eyes to turn off the shower water. His current sexual partner was becoming increasingly clingy and dependent with every visit and orgasm. This was why he never became involved with one person for a period of time, they started to develop feelings. The boy—he had forgotten his name—was starting to think they would actually have a future together. He was blurring the lines between fucking and making love. Though he was a good sex partner, he didn’t think he was _that_ good.

Tyrell grabbed a towel, walking out of the bathroom in search of his clothes. He’d brought his backpack to have a change of clothes instead of wearing the same semen stained ones from last night. The only clothes options he had left were sweatpants and regular t-shirts. He really needed to do laundry. He quickly changed into them, walking into the kitchen to see the boy preparing their lunch. From what he could tell, there was nothing special about the meal. "Here we go. I hope you like quesadillas." he said, moving the two paper plates to the small table in the corner.

"It looks great." _It could be better,_ Tyrell thought. He didn't want to be here longer than he had to be, but he was starving from last night and earlier that morning. He sat down at the table, taking a bite out of the grilled tortilla. "It tastes amazing."

The boy smiled again. "Thank you."

Despite being in his fuck buddy's presence, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to Elliot. He would much rather be with him, than with this boy--Anwar!--right now. He wanted to be with Elliot in this type of way. Making love to him all night, waking up with him wrapped in his arms, making meals with him the morning after. He wanted to see his face everyday because he knew that he would never get tired of it. No matter what his brain said, he knew in his heart that he was heavily infatuated with Elliot. He wouldn't use the L word yet, but he knew his feelings were authentic. 

"I don't know if this is weird or not," Anwar said, interrupting Tyrell's train of thought, "but do you have a boyfriend or anything? I mean, I don't see why you wouldn't have one because you're so gorgeous or why you would come to me if you had one but I just wanted to know. See now I'm rambling and that's not what I wanted to do..."

Tyrell frowned. Now he knew for certain that Anwar was becoming a little too comfortable with their arrangement. He was inquiring about his relationship status and making him food like they were domesticated. He looked down at the quesadilla in his hands, trying to figure out what he should do. There was no way he could possibly answer this complicated question with a simple answer. It wasn't like he asked if he was in a relationship, so all he had to do was withhold the truth, it wasn't lying. "No. I don't have a boyfriend." Now that he thought about it, he had only ever truly been with Joanna and no one else. 

He sighed in relief with a small smile, though Tyrell didn't understand why. "Good."

They sat there for a minute in silence before Anwar started to speak again. "So why don't you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know." He knew. "I just haven't found the right person yet, I guess." He had found someone, he just wasn't being responsive to his attempts of seduction and wooing. 

"Mmm." he nodded in acknowledgement, biting further into his quesadilla. 

Tyrell hurriedly finished his food, getting up from his awkward position in the kitchen. "I think I'm going to go." He didn't understand why Anwar was suddenly questioning him after weeks of them hooking up, but he didn't like it. He had to get out of there and  get out of there quickly. He didn't want to sully or terminate their professional relationship because of pure curiosity, but at the same time he did not want to stay there for it to become continually uncomfortable for the both of them. 

"Come on, you always leave so quickly," he held Tyrell's hand to keep him grounded. He was getting closer, trying to persuade him to stay. "You never leave enough time so we can thoroughly enjoy each other's company." 

Tyrell stared at Anwar, waiting for him to continue. It wasn't like he had anything better to do; it was a Saturday afternoon and he had no plans with anyone per usual. A nice substitute for his lack of a social life would be sex but it honestly didn't seem all that compelling right now. He would much rather be with Elliot sitting in their awkward silence more than anything, however, he didn't stop Anwar from kissing the tender spots on his neck. "You can stay a little longer, can't you?" he said in-between light kisses, letting his hand snake down into Tyrell's loose sweatpants. 

"I..." Before he could respond, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket vigorously, adding to the  light friction that Anwar was already applying on his crotch. He reached into his pocket, trying to figure out who could possibly be interrupting his intimate session. When he saw the caller ID, he immediately excused himself from the room to answer the phone, nearly knocking Anwar on the floor. He cleared his throat, trying to rid the sexual lust from his voice before speaking. "Hello?"

"I'm ready to give you an answer, Wellick." Elliot said, attempting to steady his rigid breath. 

Hearing Elliot's voice again made his heart flutter. Despite constantly ignoring his "true" feelings for him, he couldn't help but notice how he felt whenever Elliot was in the areaor when he thought about the boy. The subtle light that always seemed to shine above his head like he was an angel sent from the heavens above to make Tyrell believe in something again. His godlike features chiseled in God's perfect image made Tyrell want to be in his presence for the rest of his mortal life. He wanted to live and breathe Elliot's everything; he longed for it more than anything. And now, finally, he would figure out if he was one step closer to achieving his goal. The easy way at least. "Really?" he asked, trying to maintain his already fading composure. 

"Yeah," Elliot sighed, exhaling smoke from his full lung. "Meet me at the laundromat in an hour and you'll get your answer. I don't want to do it over the phone."

"Ok. I'll see you then." Tyrell barely said before Elliot ended the call. He momentarily stared at the blank phone screen with a slight smile. Putting on Elliot's hoodie, he hurriedly grabbed his backpack in order to reach his destination in a timely fashion. He couldn't wait to see his future lover again; it felt like an eternity since he'd heard and seen him talk or could catch the quick glances of his magnificent face in those rare moments he made an expression that wasn't full of disappointment. Anwar walked into the room with a face full of confusion. 

"You're leaving?" Anwar asked, his aim was to not sound too clingy or desperate but he failed miserably. Tyrell nodded, deciding not to use real words so he could get himself ready faster and leave with great haste. "When can I expect you again?"

He finished lacing up his shoes, making his way for the door. "I'll text you."

Anwar sighed. "Ok. Get home safe."

Tyrell closed the door behind himself, not giving a single thought about his current sexual partner. His mind was elsewhere. It was on Elliot. Never once deviating from the complex feelings and emotions that always seemed to involve him.  _Fuck,_ he thought,  _I'm in love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per usual, Tyrell is gay. Elliot hates him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like the first chapter!!! I don't know how ong this will go on because this was a very impromptu fic but stil enjoy. I hope I got the characterization right even in the alternative universe. This is only my second fic ever so be kind to my frail body. AHHHHHH ok byeeeeeee


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